I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
be right there i have to get my cape
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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