he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My vagina is officially offended.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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