Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
