...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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