I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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