i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
