He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
