hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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