Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
