this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
