high people should be assigned attendants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
