Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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