Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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