In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
