He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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