But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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