K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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