mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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