I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
