marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
