This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
