I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Found your dick twin last night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
