i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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