I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
