Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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