just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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