I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
