im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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