you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
