she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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