just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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