Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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