just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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