i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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