He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
