"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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