pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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