Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
