her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
