so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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