I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
