You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
