Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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