He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
