i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
