Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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