i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
