you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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