dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
