1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
youre lurking in front of me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
