that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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