I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
