i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
