I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
