I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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